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bumbumlosergal's Journal
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Date:2005-01-06 17:01
Subject:la laa laaa laa la
Mood: adfhadf

I'm sorry.

I'm in the mood for change.

Therefore, my new journal name is:: ellyzabeth_05

add it. Its the last new one for a while. Promise.

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Date:2005-01-03 21:00
Mood: weird . . . in a psycho way??

One thing I really hate doing is writing in my journal and acting like all the other girls in my school . . . complaining about everything and everyone . .. but I gota. I just hate school, I hate the aspect of school. I really don't mind it, but once I'm sitting there and I feel my brain turn into mush, UGHH, I just can't stand it.

Today my mom gave me a ride :) Even though it wasn't too cold, I would've killed myself walking to school on the icy roads lol. Seriously. So she gave me a ride, and PD picked me up because he rocked and decided he could give me a ride to Physical Therapy, so we went to my house and he helped me hook up the coffee pot, and today I drank my first official cup of coffee from MY OWN coffee maker :) Then he took me to Physical Therapy, WHICH, BY THE WAY, I AM TOTALLYYY DONE WITH!! Then PD waited and gave me a ride home too :) He really rocks. AND WE PLAYED THE ALPHABET GAME on the way home!! We drove around a parking lot to get most of our letters :-X Hah, I love being a dork. Thennn I promised him to quote chapter 5, which I did.

He left, I studied, Mom came home, PD came back and looked @ the kitchen . . . apparently my mom wants to get some stuff in there painted, but she doesn't know how to paint . . . I don't think it should be that hard, just open up a cool color like ELECTRIC BLUE, and paint away :) Thennn he told me to study Chapter 14 & Chapter 9, which I still have to do . . . woops, and I wanted to go to bed @ 6 . . . hahhh yeah righttt.

I guess I'll go study now . . . 'Life With Mikey' is on tomorrow @ 6 AM, I"m totallyy getting up early and watching it. I <3 Michael J. Foxxxxx.


4 days until the quiz meet
6 days until Chuck Lacombeeee!!

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Date:2005-01-02 21:44
Subject:tomorrow . . . is school. piece of crapppp.
Mood: thinkin' deep.

New Years Eve was a blast . . . there were a buncha people @ church, and I spent most of the night w/ the really cool kids, and PASTOR DAN AND I EVEN DEFENDED OUR CHAMPIONSHIP FOR THE GAME OF PICTIONARY!!! Is it weird to be that excited about a drawing game?? We were amazinggg. We had Alyssa & Chander on our team too. Woot Woot. It totallyyy rocked. We played Scene It, and I was getting really aggrivated so I thought it sucked . . . it probably wasn't as bad as I was making it out to be. I decided to go to sleep around 4:30-ish, and didn't wake up until 8:30-ish. Sorry I didn't say bye to anyone, but the couch in the parsonage is so comfy to sleep on . . . hah the Couch's couch is comfy . . . I know, lame. Then we left took Shanice and Liz home (btw . . . Liz was reallyy funny, and I hope she comes back soon. She really really rocks my socks, hardcore man!!) Then took Sovannary home, PD and Debbie talked FOREVER (two talkers who always talk forever . . . wasn't a good mix, at least we weren't in a rush) Then we played the Alphabet Game on the way home!! I am ADDICTEDDD. Alphabet Game ROCKSSS. WAyyy hardcore. Mmhmm. Thennn we went to McDonald's and I got Chicken Selects (even though I barfed on the way home!!)

So . . . today was today. It was a Sunday, and it was pretty normal, like all the past Sundays of my 17 years . . . Sunday school, church, quizzing, and then home. Except I woke up reallyy late, wasn't in a good mood all day, left quizzing early, and got to go to the dollar store. Oohh and I got Chicken Selects. I'm addicteddd to those things!! I've seen "Super Size Me" and saw how McD's makes chicken, which is nasty . . . and I've seen the commercial w/ Jared complaining about all the nasty fat and stuff in them, but I love them. They may kill me, but mix Honey Mustard and Chicken Selects together, and I feel IMMORTALLL!! (ok . . . slight exaggeration)

And now I'm really tired and have to go study chapter 14 orrr PD'll take my head off. Tomorrow's Physical Therapy, I'm reallyyy getting tired of not having a car b/c I have to bum rides off nice people like PD, and then I feel bad. And tomorrow I get to walk to school. YES!! talk to you all laterrr

Ohh yesss. SIX DAYS until Chuck comes and speaks @ the churchhhh. WICKED excited for that!! woot woot!!


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Date:2005-01-01 19:44
Subject:New Years Resolution??
Mood: guilty

So, I don't want to have the sum of this post be a New Years Resolution, because I NEVER keep those, and this is just too good to not keep, so we'll call it just something to shoot for . . . something I dream of. :) mmhmm.

So this was my first post . . .Collapse )

So, I wrote that post beforehand . . . because I was getting really frustrated . . . with everything stated in the first post, but mostly myself . . . w/ everything . . . then I went to look up Cool Hand Luke lyrics . . . have you ever noticed that God is there to show you exactly what you NEED to see, even if you're being stubborn and convinced you don't need to see anything? Oh man, I'm such an idiot. Well, anyways, I came upon this song, and it amazed me, and it really was what God was planning on showing me . . . it was just one of those messages he needed to get across.

"Every time I read that story again
I wanna run and take the nails out
You remind me that those nails are mine
Once and for all to the end (Hebrews 9:26)

I’m not ready for this
I’m not ready yet
I’m not ready
For this ending
But it’s not over yet

You were speaking to a group last night
You asked someone to lay their pride out
I turned to see who it could be
You were looking me dead in the eye

I’m not ready for this
I’m not ready yet
I’m not ready
For this ending
But it’s not over yet

I’m not ready for this
I’m not ready yet
I’m not ready
For this ending
But it’s not over yet
I’ve been fighting against myself
And I’ve torn myself to pieces
I hear You calling, God, I hear You calling
“Stand up, stand up
And spend yourself for Jesus”

Too long have I been chained
I’m ready Jesus—set me free"
--Cool Hand Luke :: 'I'm not ready'

I just love the whole song . . . each verse, and the last part of the song . . .
"I hear you calling, God, I hear you calling
'Stand up, stand up
And spend yourself for Jesus."

Thats what I dream of doing . . . not for a day, not for a week, not even a year. But for the rest of my life, I want to spend myself on Jesus.

It reminds me of Matthew 20, verses 26-28
"Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave-just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."

Spend yourself for Jesus.

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Date:2004-12-30 22:33
Subject:Hola, again . . . (sorry its longer than I expected)
Mood: blessed beyond compare.

So, this week has been sort of weird . . . and I know tomorrow isn't going to be a calm day. man, its been crazy. And not just busy-ness, just the things running through my head and the idiotic things I've done. ugh. So, I guess I'll start back at Monday . . . Monday was Worship Team Practice, but beforehand Shanice, my mom, Arielle and I went shopping & to Friendly's. i've been hanging out alot more w/ Shanice, its kinda cool cause we're getting closer . . . sometimes I feel bad when its just me Alyssa and Shanice, b/c she's not as close, but its so cool having her that close now. We went to the church early and I was throwing around this glass that goes around the lighted candles around the sanctuary in the windows, and it hit a pew and smashed into hundreds of pieces. Wanna get away? yeah, I did. Idiottt.
Umm then Worship Team Practice was just that . . . worship team practice. With Arlene playing everything too slow, but what they hey, she's an organist. We had these 2 new songs which were fast and AMAZING because I actually had to practice them on my flute before I could play them at the tempo written, and I love that . . . gives me a sense of accomplishment after I've finished them.

Then I was an idiot.Collapse )

Tuesday afternoon until Thursday afternoon was concentration camp. Tuesday night was in Bangor church, Wednesda night and thursday AM was @ Saco. it was fun . . . I studied alot, and now I'm really tired.
On the way home from Bangor I was talking to PD about my favorite section, overall, thusfar in Matthew, and its in my AIM info, but its from Matthew 20, verses 28-34, here it is::
"As Jesus and his disciples were leaving Jericho, a large crowd followed him. Two blind men were sitting by the roadside, and when they heard that Jesus was going by, they shouted, 'Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!' The crowd rebuked them to be quiet, but they shouted all the louder, 'Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!' Jesus stopped and called them. 'What do you want me to do for you?' He asked. 'Lord', they answered, 'We want our sight.' Jesus had compassion on them and touched their eyes. Immediately they received their sight and followed him."

I am absolutely in LOVE with that section. More thoughts on this AMAZING section . . .Collapse )

Then last night as I was at the church . . . I was originally going to go study, but I sat in the sanctuary . . . and as I was sitting there in the dark, with the candles and the Christmas tree lights on, looking at the cross . . . I just had one of those amazing connections with God. i love that I'm so close to the Couch's, b/c I love just sitting in the sanctuary, having time w/ God. I know you can have time with Him anytime you want, but theres something about the sanctuary that just does it for me . . . just like I find something about the altar, when I go, I just feel like I went that one step, and I can feel Jesus just wrapping his arms around me. I hate when I get in the mood that I can do things on my own . . . and I was thinking, I really could run my own life . . . for about .5 seconds, then after that, it really sucks, and everything crumbles down around me. And I always seem to do it.
Dear Me,
Stop being an idiot.
f/ Me.
So I sat and I cried and I prayed . . . I was thinking about the car ride and the blind men and how much I wanted to be like them . . . but how much I couldn't be like them on my own . . . how worthless I am with God and just so many other things . . . and I got thinking to Matthew 9:36, "When Jesus saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd." Man, think of all your friends, think of everyone at school, and just imagine how many of them need that relationship with God. how many of them can barely get up in the morning because they're so depressed, and so many problems dealing with the world and the way they live . . . and to think we hold the key to their problems . . . and why do we do that?? I know that sometimes I almost hide it like it was a treasure . . . which it is . . . having a relationship w/ God is definately the best thing EVER, but its not like if we share it, its going to go away. I def. plead guilty when it comes to not sharing the Word and Jesus enough to my friends, who truly and deeply need it.
So, revival is coming up, January 9-12, each night @ 7 (the 9th Rev Chuck Lacombe will be @ church preaching for morning service) and I am really psyched. I think God is preparing my heart for revival . . . its like every day I have this little revival in my soul . . . this little peel of my own desire that He takes away and replaces with His. He's just amazing.
Well, its kind of late, and I need to review Matthew 12. Sorry this post went on and on, but I think I needed to get it out. I just feel like I'm on Cloud 9 when I express all my feelings, esp. those of spiritual thoughts. :) G'nite all, I'll see some of you TOMORROW for New Years Eve @ the saco naz!!

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Date:2004-12-24 16:17
Mood: anxious

So, new journal.
Exciting, huh?

Christmas = tomorrow!!
New Years Eve = one week!!

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my journal